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3 Ways to have A Successful Marriage Post Baby: the secret to making love last

3 Ways to have A Successful Marriage Post Baby: the secret to making love last

July 22, 2019 in Mommy, Family, Lifestyle - 11 Comments >/div>

The day you get married, you are head over heels in love with your spouse, but then throw a baby (or 2) into the mix and suddenly, your marriage takes a back seat. Spontaneous date nights, sleeping in on the weekends, and impromptu plans are replaced by the newfound responsibility of a highly dependent infant. According to The Gottman Institute, research shows that “67% of couples report a decline in relationship happiness for up to three years after the birth of the first child”. After baby, hostility rises, as the focus shifts from the marriage to the baby. Here are 3 Ways To Have A Successful Marriage Post Baby: The Secret To Making Love Last.

The Importance of a Strong Marriage

Like mentioned above, research shows that there is a proven decline in relationship happiness after a baby is born. Does that mean you hate your spouse? No, it doesn’t, but bringing a baby home increases hostility and added stress into the family. Having a strong marriage is essential to having a strong family. Why is it important? As children grow, their behaviors and emotions are based on what they see in the home. If the environment in the home is consistently hostile, they may show behaviors of hostility and resentment in their own relationships at school and with their parents. Children learn behavior they constantly see and are around. Constantly fighting and arguing with your spouse takes the attention off of the child’s needs and directs it to a negative circumstance. Maintaining strong communication in your marriage will allow for a stress-free, conflict-free, happy and healthy home. Children will then learn from these positive interactions and in turn, will learn how to better communicate and work through personal issues in their own personal relationships.

3 ways to have a successful marriage post-baby: the secret to making love last

  1. Communication

Communication can be represented in various different ways. Communication can be through verbal communication, written communication, or communicating through body language. Within a relationship of any kind, it is essential to show some form of communication on a daily basis, which in turn will lead to a strong relationship. When having communication with your spouse, sit down in a quiet space and share your thoughts and feelings. Look them directly in the eyes and tell them what you need. Listen to your spouse and be mindful of your tone and volume as you speak. Initiate the conversation in a light manner if the other person is reluctant to speak about what is on their mind. Understand that your spouse is not a mind reader and that a written list may be more beneficial to communicate things you need to be done around the house. Identify the body language of your spouse, and address it in a gentle manner. If you see your spouse looking frazzled, stressed and overwhelmed, ask if they are okay and see what you can do to help out. Sometimes, someone may not verbally communicate to you that they are struggling, but will communicate to you in a non-verbal way. As parents, it is essential to set your expectations, ask questions, remove yourself from technology when communicating, and try to be on the same team. Lastly, when speaking to your spouse, or speaking of your spouse, offer words of affirmation (verbal compliments that express your love and appreciation) to build security, confidence, and sincerity within your relationship.

2. Quality Time

Quality time after baby seems almost like an impossible task but is so important when building a successful marriage after baby. Spending quiet time alone allows more time for communication and understanding within the marriage. If you aren’t able to go out for a date night without the kids, spend quiet moments together at home after bedtime to ensure that quality time is being met. These are the moment’s the marriage can go back up to the “front seat” all while being present and giving each other undivided attention. Use this time for humor, expressing love and gratefulness, and being in the moment. If you are able to incorporate quality time into your weekly routine, your marriage will be successful.

3. Acts of Service

An act of service is any act that eases the burden of responsibility from someone. Doing something without being told will make the other person feel happy and proud that you did that for them. There are many new tasks around the home when babies are born including, washing bottles, washing clothes, straightening up toys, picking up baby supplies from the store, etc. Many arguments that take place within a relationship after a baby is due to not having enough help with daily tasks. Randomly doing an act of service for your spouse when they least expected makes them feel grateful, appreciative, and less overwhelmed.

Finding ways to get through the first months of parenthood with your spouse will ensure days of prosperity, not hostility. New possibilities of love and appreciation will arise, with your partner by your side. You will show your children what true love looks like, which is the greatest gift you could give them.


I am a new mom of boy/girl twins trying to navigate life as a new mom. My life is messy, chaotic, and beautiful. I would not change it for the world!

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  • Vedrana Hodges July 26, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    Oh I was so excited to read this post and it did not let me down! I am a huge advocate for keeping the marriage alive after kids for those reasons you mentioned above. Happy marriage= happy home. Your tip #2 is my favorite! Quality time alone is such a big deal and we try to squeeze in date nights even if it’s just a couple times a month! So worth it. Great post Emily!

  • Oregon.mama July 26, 2019 at 9:53 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing. I am getting married in 11 days, and these are great tips to follow ♥️♥️♥️

  • Madeline July 27, 2019 at 3:39 am

    I agree with all of this!! Communication and quality time have been so hard for us since Landry was born! We’re constantly working on it!

  • Christina July 27, 2019 at 9:57 am

    Love these tips! Communication is definitely a big one. It’s super important and I always make sure my husband and I are communicating. How else will you know what’s going on? 😆 Thanks for sharing!

  • Latifah July 28, 2019 at 2:41 am

    Oh my gosh such a great post mama! I completely agree with all of this! I’ve been married 9 years and our oldest is 8 (then four years later add the twins in there!) So we’ve been through our share of ups and downs. Communication is so important and is a key to the survival of your marriage. I spent way too much time “waiting for him to do things,” instead of just communicating what I needed from him. I also love the quality time part. We both used to make excuses and finally put our foot down. We have Netflix and ice cream dates after the kids go to bed and love to laugh and joke all the time. It’s created a new dynamic in our marriage! I just loved this post, thank you!

  • xocrunchberry July 28, 2019 at 3:48 am

    Oh my gosh, yes! Communication was actually kind of a hard thing for me to do, but now that I’ve been trying our marriage has never been stronger.

  • Danielle July 28, 2019 at 4:00 am

    This is such a good post! So many couples struggle with this after kids, and communication is key! Such good reminders, thanks for sharing!

  • Home With Grey July 29, 2019 at 11:57 pm

    Love this post! It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day that you forget about each other. Communication is vital to a healthy relationship and I love that that is at the top of your list!

  • Jennifer August 1, 2019 at 3:12 am

    This is such a great post! I agree it is a lot more work after babies. It’s work period but I feel like there’s needs to be more effort after. Communication is definitely key!

  • kaysdailyinsight August 1, 2019 at 3:18 am

    This is a great post! It’s wonderful to read things so insightful and I can look back on!

  • Doris August 17, 2019 at 11:27 am

    Yes!! These tips are great & really do work. My husband & I grew into learning these things. With our first child things were so rough on our relationship & with our second it’s much easier because we do these things.

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    Hi! Welcome to my blog which is all about my daily life as a mama of twins. My mission is to inspire women daily and show a glimpse of my daily life. Take a look around and connect with me on my social platforms! Read More


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