Following the weeks I found out I was pregnant, extreme nausea and “morning” sickness had hit me like a ton of bricks. It was hard to hide my pregnancy in the first trimester because I wasn’t really able to do be around anyone without feeling extremely sick and run down. I tried so many things to try and mask the all day sickness but I just wasn’t able to hide it any longer.
Once we told our parents about the pregnancy, I felt a sense of relief that my mom would be able to help me on my bad days. The nausea and sickness hit me 24/7. I envied those women who never got sick during their pregnancy or even women who just got nauseous without the actual sickness. However, the idea of having a baby finally settled and was a common conversation topic in our household at this point. My husband and I discussed whether we thought it was a boy or a girl and we even discussed possible names for our baby boy or girl. So many people had told me that a mothers instinct can usually determine the sex of the baby, but for some reason, I felt like I could of had both a boy and a girl. I had dreams leading up to my doctors appointment of me holding twins. I would see them in my dreams and feel so connected to them. Was this God’s way of reaching out to me? I would have these dreams usually a couple times a week, so I was already skeptical about whether or not there was actually one baby or two in my belly.
The night before my doctors appointment was August 29, 2018. My grand mom had just been admitted to the hospital for issues with an ongoing gastrointestinal issue she has had for years. I was walking into the hospital with my mom when she told me that she had been doing some research on my “morning” sickness. I use quotations when exclaiming “morning” sickness because it had been an all day and night occurrence. My mom looked over to me and said, “Emily I’m telling you, you are having twins”. I laughed and snapped back, “no I am not stop saying that”. I was still getting used to the idea of raising one baby, and the idea of raising two was scary. Twins run pretty heavily in my family, so if anyone else would have a set of twins, it definitely would have been me.
Sure enough on August 30, my husband and I went to our first OB doctors appointment. I believe I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time and was feeling all of the symptoms. Our family and friends waited patiently with their cellphones to hear how the appointment went. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking about my twin dreams and the comment my mom made. My husband and I joked while the doctor was examining me saying, “okay let’s see if it’s one or two in there!” The sonogram machine sat to my right hand side as I laid on the table with my husband to my left. The doctor starts the sonogram and doesn’t really say anything for a few seconds. She is moving the probe around and taking a close look at what she sees, as I am lying there vulnerable and nervous, and then she says it…
“Okay well it looks like you are having twins! Here is Baby A and here is Baby B.” I still will never forget how relaxed and nonchalant she was.
I immediately started shaking and laughing at the news. My husband Bill looked like he was going to fall over in the very small exam room. I kept denying it and saying “shut up, shut up you’re lying”. I never told a doctor to shut up before but I just couldn’t believe this news. I felt as though this moment was an out of body experience. I will truly never forget that moment.
I asked the doctor to make sure there “wasn’t a third” in there and she confirmed that there were only 2 babies growing so healthy in my belly. I left that doctors appointment so overwhelmed with information about this new high risk pregnancy. Because I was having twins, I had to see a high risk doctor and see a different doctor at my OB’s office (who I will discuss in a later post) that specializes in twins. Although the news still felt so unreal, the most important thing was that the babies were so healthy and had heart beats. I was due to deliver April 6, 2019.
As we got in the car we compiled a list of people we needed to call and tell. I just texted my friends to tell them because I really wanted to talk to my mom about it and let her know that she was in fact, right. My husband called his family as I called mine. Everyone was shocked and thought I was lying. Apparently I am known to be the prankster in the family who jokes about things.
So many thoughts manifest in newly pregnant mom’s thoughts. For me, getting used to the idea of being pregnant was scary enough because it wasn’t something we were planning for a while. However, I now had to adjust to the idea of having twins AND being a first time mom.
Would I be able to do it?
Will the delivery be safe?
How are we going to afford 2 newborns at once?
One thing brought me comfort during this very overwhelming time in my life and that was God’s plan. One of my favorite bible verses is below. This verse is one I constantly live by. We may not fully understand now, but one day we will. Although in the moment I could not understand why God chose me to bear twin babies, I knew he chose me for a reason. God chose me to mother two beautiful children because he knew I was capable of doing so. It all made sense in this very moment of calling to God and asking “why me?” This was God’s plan for me and it all made sense. Although it was scary, with God on my side and my strong faith, I knew it would all be okay. God also brings people into your life just when you need them. My next post is all about my incredible doctor, Lauren, who has made such a huge impact on me as a mother and she may not even know it.